Learning to Be A Grown Upo

I read this headline the other day:
  SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) - A Texas couple whose 5-year-old daughter died in a crash involving a driver who was allegedly using Apple's FaceTime video chatting app is suing the tech company...

Weird, huh?  It was the driver allegedly using Apple's FaceTime who caused the crash.  Not the car.  Not the highway.  Not Apple.  THE DRIVER WHO BEHAVED CARELESSLY!

It got me thinking.  What impulses lead  people fail to think like grown ups?  

I recall a couple who were friends who decided they needed a vacation, so they borrowed against their retirement and their credit cards and took the kids to Disney Land.  They were in terrible debt for several years, and would not really have adequate retirement income.  I suspect that if they had lived they would have wanted someone else to help them live comfortably in retirement instead of living responsibly themselves.  

Not everyone can take full responsibility.  Mental issues, physical issues, imprisonment and such-like can contribute to less-than-grownup attitudes and thinking.  I understand that.

But the goal of childhood is, and has always been, growing up.  Michelle Obama made a point about how she handled the crud that came with being the president's wife by saying she decided to be a grownup.  I had a friend many years ago whose constant mantra after years of abuse as a child was:  "I want to be grown up.  I want to live as a grown up.  Good mental health for me is being grown-up."  

Being grown up means being responsible for ALL that I am responsible for, and for assigning responsibility thoughtfully and carefully to others.  The governmnet is not responsible for my well-being, but for governing in a fair, impartial way to ensure that we can all take responsibility for ourselves.  (In other words, so that whites don't get privileges that people of color are denied, for instance.)  

Big corporations are responsible for the safety and non-toxic nature of what they sell, but the USER of the product is responsible for whe she or he does when using it.  

I like to work with wood.  My table saw is not responsible for my carelessness in cutting my fingers off.  It's a dangerous tool and I know it.  
  If, however, I am using a saw blade that has flaws in built into it by the maker of the blade, and I end up hurt or dead because of the flaws, then the manufacturer is responsible.  I could not have known, and had a reasonable right to expect the blade to be well made.  Right?

On the other hand, I am responsible for using the saw carefully.  I cannot blame my employer for giving me the weekend off so I had time to use it.  That would be silly, juvenile and stupid.

What do you understand about being a grownup?  Leave a comment and let us know.  

It's Sad, Really. . .

It's sad, really, that Hillary Clinton might become our first woman president.  No, it's not sad because she is female.  Not sad because she used her own email server for her Federal communication.  No. . .
It's sad because she is good, but not great.  And that makes me think. . .

In the history of our country, we have probably never had a great person as president.  Never.  Washington was great because he refused to become king.  Lincoln was great because he led the country towards reunification and the liberation of slaves.  FDR was great because he helped the country cope with the Great Depression, sort of.  At least he worked at it.  Teddy Roosevelt was great because he came up with the national Park system.

But none of these people were really, really great.  Not really.  Not like Edison, or Rockefeller, or George Washington Carver.  Not even like Martin Luther King.  The president's job description might as well include, "No creativity needed.  Cleverness useful, but don't bring intelligence, either."

I suppose the ongoing popularity of Trump echoes that of Andrew Jackson in demonstrating that the people who aspire to this political office not only don't need to be great, they don't need to be good or desirable.  They just need to be ambitious, and have few scruples.

I don't agree with those who contend that Americans don't deserve a great person as president.  Rather, the presidency probably won't work very well for a truly great person.  It needs the mediocrity of a G.W. Bush and the dementia of a Ronald Reagan.  Above all, it needs horse-trading skills, tit-for-tat wiliness, and a limited vision of how to work around the advisors and power brokers in order to keep one's family safe.  I suspect being a good shot might be useful, too.

Greatness would be helpful for a Supreme Court justice.  Greatness might be useful for a Representative or Senator committed to helping govern the country.  It might not be necessary, as so many who have been elected have demonstrated.

Meanwhile we citizens reward mediocrity and entertainment value, the marketplace rewards greed and ruthlessness, and the few great people in our world might get a nice obituary some day.

I think it still behooves all of us to figure out what true greatness is, and try to be it.

What do you think?  Leave a comment and let us know.

Fear and Loathing in the USA

This will be short.  Read Seth Godin's blog at this address:

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2016/04/apocalypse-soon.html

No one says it better, in my opinion.  Just remember: Adolf Hitler was elected to office.  Elected!

If the parallels today don't scare the bejesus out of you. . . well, please make an appointment with your psychiatrist as soon as possible.  Oh, and read Seth's blog.

Abject Idiocy

You hear a mosquito whirring near your ear and you slap it.  Unthinking, habitual, right?

Some hear anything about controlling the sale and ownership of guns and they scream, shout or jut their chin out and declare, "You can't take way our constitutional rights."  (Some might say Second Amendment rights, or some variant of same.)  Unthinking, lockstep, related psychologically to "Heil Hitler" and "White Power", in my opinion.  

Look back with me at the reason for the Second Amendment.  James Madison, one of the framers of the Constitution, was violently against a standing army for the young nation.  He believed that if the men of the colonies owned a firearm, they could be mustered to defend the nation in militias.  He assumed some level of competence (based partly on the experiences they had had in the Revoltionary War.  Keeping  a standing army would have cost taxpayers dollars they needed to live, and build the nation, and was generally not necessary.  

Fast forward to 2016.

We have a standing army.

We train our standing army, and our military reservists.  Some of them (not many) are even trained to kill enemies with guns.  Personally.  Up close.  

Enter the gun lobby and it's supporters.  

An incredible number of people wanting to own firearms and carry concealed weapons have never served in the armed forces, never trained to take lives, and never trained to act responsibly in situations of intense risk.  I think of the Aurora theater shooting, or any of the armed attacks on schools as "situations of intense risk".  Few of the strident shouters are willing to devote one weekend a month and two weeks a year to reservist training.  It would interfere with their lives, after all.  And it might be dangerous.  But they believe they have their rights without corresponding responsibilities. 

Does the phrase "Spoiled brats" come to anyone's mind but mine?

The Swiss is sometimes used as a prime example of a country where gun ownership is not only legal but required.  So is being subject to immediate deployment in the armed services, and for most men, annual military training.  Would Clive Bundy want to be called away from his political protests to serve in the Army?  Or Ted Cruz, or Marco Rubio?  I can't even imagine Trump with a rifle.

(His mouth serves so well!)

We not only license drivers, but examine them for basic skills first.  We license hunters, but do not examine them for safety skills or woodsman's skills.  We have folks unwilling to license or examine gun owners, and yet the number of gun related deaths were nearly the same as the number of auto related fatalities in 2013.  

Can we have non-lockstep conversations about this, please?  With a view to looking twenty, thirty, and fifty years down the road to reducing gun related fatalities?  (And requiring all gun owners under 70 years of age to be trained yearly in the military reserves?)

What do you think?  Leave a comment and let us know.   

Getting Scammed, Conned and/or Ripped Off

It is not much fun.

A lot of my clients have experienced it this past fall and early winter.  They do not enjoy it.

It costs money they either don't have, or would prefer to use in other ways.

How can YOU get scammed, conned or ripped off?

1.  You get a phone call.  The called tells you that your computer is in trouble and she or he can fix it.  The fee well might be $399.00 or thereabouts.  Just download the program they tell you to and they will take control of your computer and "fix it".  All you have to do is agree.  But if you don't want to get conned, scammed or ripped off, hang up and unplug your computer for awhile.  If things don't work right, call your tech, or take it to a shop like Best Buy or MicroCenter and get it "cleaned up" by real, honest and competent techs.  And the end of this article I'l give you a massive tip.

2.  You get a message on your screen informing you that something (Windows, Word, some other program) is corrupt.  Call this phone number and pay a fee and they will uncorrupt your computer or unencrypt your files and all will be well.
  For this one turn your computer OFF, even unplug it or take the battery out of it if it is a laptop, and get help as mentioned in 1. above from a competent, honest tech.

3.  You get a phone call from someone who is either from Microsoft or from a firm who contracts with Microsoft.  Microsoft has detected a problem with your computer.  Their fee is _______.  They will clean the problem off your computer.
     (We are Mac users and we get these phone calls, sometimes two or three a week.)

Remember:  Microsoft doesn't know what is going on with your computer and they don't hire firms to do their work for them.  

     Again, press the Power button on your Windows computer/laptop and turn it off.

Do NOT every let anyone have access to your computer via the Internet and phone.  I would say, "especially strangers" but one of my clients got these phone calls so many times he began to think he knew the person.  Yes, he gave access and we had to wipe everything out and reinstall Windows.

If you get such a call or message on your computer, report it to your local police or sheriff''s office.  Maybe if law enforcement begins to realize how much scamming is going on they will try to nab these folks and put them on a chain gang, maybe cleaning the bottom of filled pools.

They target the elderly especially.

A MASSIVE TIP in Three Parts:
1.  make sure you have a good antivirus and that it is up to date.
2.  Install the professional version of Malwarebytes Anti-Malware and let it run in the background.
3.  Have an external hard drive and back up your data at least once a week.  And be sure you made or make DVDs of your Windows program so it is easy to install.  Be sure you have the Activation Code.

A Financial Tip:  Windows computers are cheap.  Don't pay too much to have it fixed.  It may be cheaper to buy a new one and restore your data from your backup disk.

Strange Religion

The right wing conservatives, mostly allied with fundamentalist Christianity, have been shrieking that we cannot let Syrian refugees in to this country.  Their reason:  a terrorist might slink in with them, and then kill some of us.

A number of Democrats have joined with them.

As I mull this over, and listen to right-oriented preachers agree with them, I want to explore and idea from a Christian point of view.  (For this reason this blog article will be on the Faith Reflections blog as well.)

First, Jesus was clear:  love your enemies, do good to those who despitefully use you, feed the hungry, visit the sick, make people welcome in practical ways.  The church has been much less clear, especially after the third century.

Second, Christians assert they will live resurrection lives after death.  They assert that this living will be without tears, without illness or death -- it will be wonder-full, and eternal.

Oh, yes, third:  Jesus said if we would follow him we have to carry our cross to do so.  That doesn't mean no drinking and no smoking and no drugging.  It means living with the instrument of shameful death on your back, ready to experience it as Jesus did/does.

Dare we wonder if these evangelical, or fundamentalist, Christian shouters actually every intend to do what Jesus said?

Dare we wonder whether these folks actually believe in a wonder filled life beyond death?

Dare we wonder whether carrying the cross goes beyond giving up meat for Lent, or wearing a necktie to worship?
  Along that line, think about this:  carrying the cross, as the Romans defined it for Jesus, meant being ready to die, but not knowing just when the moment of death would occur.  It means living with shame and accepting it as something O.K.  In other words, it means living in the U.S.A. with the possibility that someone we help may turn on us and kill or wound us and helping people anyway.

I'm not encouraging us to be foolinsh, or martyrs looking for a place to happen.  Jesus never said, "Be stupid and follow me."  But the shrill tones of fear from people espousing Christian values are as out of place as terrorism in the name of Islam.  Neither fit.

I am old, and if I die, I am reasonably ready.  I don't want my kids or grandkids caught in a bombing or strafing act of terrorism and hurt or killed.  But as a follower of Jesus I have to think clearly and decide whether I really  believe.  If I do, I must act on it every day.

In the Orthodox tradition the priest says, on Easter, "Christ is risen!"  and the congregation responds with vigor:  "He is risen indeed."

But does anyone really believe it?

Why Do I Find Stupidity Amazing?

I have people in my life who try to deny aging.  Yet they are getting older.

I enjoy friends who have little or no savings for retirement.  Yet they persist in spending on transient stuff they don’t need. 

I am blest with acquaintances who drink to their detriment but deem it their right.  

I have managed employees who came late, ate breakfast after the work day began on “company time” and who wondered that their annual evaluations were never “exceeds expectations”.  

I know all the above, and yet I continue to be amazed at human stupidity.  

My question is:  why?  What is there in me that keeps expecting fellow humans to use basic good sense?  

Maybe I am starting to face my own stupidity.  What do you think?