Think with me about Ruthie -- the delightful girl in One Big Happy (syndicated comic strip). She is eager to find out what life is like in small increments. She approaches people, situations and problems with at attitude of letting them expose what is underneath the surface.
My wife calls this approach "wonderment". I have tried to cultivate this approach to life and have, to some extent, succeeded. Rather than try to impose my preconceived notions of reality on a situation, I try to come with a questioning mind, waiting for reality to expose itself to me. As I see it, we don't really KNOW very much. Even events or relationships that seem similar to other incidents or happenings may not be.
Motives may differ, causes vary, and even the interpretation I had of an earlier event that seems the same may be wrong. Incomplete. Off-kilter.
When I am developing a relationship with someone I don't know (most everyone, really) I wait for that person to expose himself/herself. Who is he? What does she value? What habits will I discover? I listen and look for opinions, judgments, ethical moves, pools of knowledge, and arenas of delight.
Of course, I never really know the person. it's better to let him/her continue to expose layer after layer, facet after facet. I incorporate that into my understanding but continue to listen, look and wonder.
What do you think? Does bringing an attitude of waiting for reality to expose itself make sense for you? Leave a comment and let us know.
I agree that, philosophically, you can never really be sure that you KNOW anyone, or anything. And that is what enables us to have "wonderment". I believe that, to know one thing, we would have to know everything. If we truly discerned an Objective order to the universe, then, suddenly, we would know everything, and we would lose all fascination.
ReplyDeleteAnother interesting question, along these lines, is, not only how well do you KNOW people, but how well do they KNOW themselves? (personal insight). To me, then, as the layers peel off, the most important question is whether the person has a good heart, and good intentions. Capability, on the other hand, is another vital characteristic upon which we all rely, and with which we could all use assistance. Both "Expose" and "Impose" would be useful in this regard, to gain personal insight and help others to do the same.