Tension, Conflict and Life -- second post

It's not just the stock market, of course, that has this built in ambiguity.  With the stock market ambiguity reigns with respect to pricing and market direction.  But other areas of life are as puzzling.

The boss tells you to tighten up on staff reviews.  But when you do, he says you are picking in your staff, and you get in trouble.

You slow down to get past the narrow space by a traffic accident and the policeperson scowls at you and waves you to move faster.  But just a few weeks ago a worker was killed by a guy going to fast. . .

Living well is as full of contradictions as is living poorly.  Well, almost as full.  Actually living poorly by being doped up all the time, drunk all the time, or angry all the time probably gets about the same rotten payoffs most of the time, so maybe there are fewer conflicts in terms of contradictions when you live poorly.

Living well, however . . . respecting other's, seeing the reason for laws and obeying them, doing unto others what you wish people would do for you. . . that leads to all kinds of conflict and tension.

Good stories depend on conflict, of course.  Little Bo Peep wouldn't be half an interesting if she never lost her sheep.  Batman would bore us if there were no bad guys at work  in Gotham City.  Avoiding ambiguity, deploring conflict and abhorring tension doesn't work and stories that do so put us asleep.

Stay puzzled, my friend.  Real life is puzzling.  Let me tell you one more puzzling story.

A young woman was approached by a guy who told her she was pregnant.  Many people believe this was an expression of the love of God.

This weird love of God tore her life apart, and she lived to see her son executed by crucifixion.  Love?  Ambiguous at best.  Maybe in retrospect.

What do you think?  Leave a comment and let us know.

Success? Failure? Living Well!!

Dean Koontz has written series of books about Odd Thomas.  Seemingly he was supposed to be named Todd Thomas, but someone left off the "T", so he was called Odd.  I have only read three such books in a longer series, but they got me thinking (there's that wonderful word, thinking about what it means to be successful.

Odd Thomas is wonderfully humble.  He doesn't cringe or wring his hands, but he freely accepts that he doesn't know much about most things, he can do one or two things fairly well, and life will take many twists and turns he cannot anticipate.  Wow!   But can a person with that kind of honest self-knowledge be a success?

Think about yourself, for instance.  Or, if thinking about yourself is too personal, too "touchy-feely" for you, think about someone you admire.

• What makes you admire that person (or yourself)?
• What would you like to see more of in yourself or in that person?
• Are you, or is that person, approachable?
• Do you need an appointment to see yourself, or the person you admire?
• What puts you off about yourself or about that other person?

If you are genuinely humble, are you successful?  Failing?

If you value honesty more than money, are you successful, or failing?

If you find worth in everybody, even evil people who were once neat kids, sweet babies, do you like yourself because of that, or despise yourself because of the way you see worth in pretty much everyone?

What do you think?  Leave a comment and let us know.

Important and Urgent

Our lives often seem boring.  No drama marks our days.  We drive through congested traffic to work, and . . . ditto coming home.  Yet those of us who watch the occasional TV show are programmed to think our lives should be dramatic, and we get to feeling we are boring.  Dull.  And we equate feeling boring with being 'nothings'.  No bombs go off in our cars, we don't dive from a thirteen story balcony into a convenient swimming pool successfully, we don't carry a gun.

It is easy to feel sorry for ourselves.  A person to whom I was once close feels sorry for herself a lot because she has to manufacture drama in order to feel good about herself.  Needing to be a drama queen she really has become boring.  She was much more interesting and fun to be with when she was herself.

In a book by Dean Koontz his sort-of hero is in a thrift store and has changed into dry clothes.  He reflects that “I tucked the pistol in a deep pocket of the raincoat and opened the changing-room door, prepared—thought not eager—to learn the true and hidden nature of the world.  But first I stopped in this thrift-shop men’s room.  Even the most urgent journey of discovery must allow time for the journeyer to pee.”
  p. 135

Yes, sometimes the most important thing is the most ordinary.  I have to stop and pee.

What do you think?  Leave a comment and let us know.

Tension, Conflict and Life

Watching the stock market is entertaining, to say the least.  The turmoil and emotional and non-rational swings are both amusing and frightening.  Let me give an example:

Corporations and businesses do their best to keep from hiring employees.  Employees are not assets -- they are cost items.  They encroach on the almighty profits.

So, when employers actually cut jobs, save money and spend it on either dividends or bonuses for the top executives, the price of their stock often rises.  But wait!

When unemployment rises (because corporations and businesses downsize and cut jobs) the market goes down.  The same people who make share prices to UP also make the market to DOWN for the same reasons -- just reasons looked at from a different angle.

Sadly, these people don't see the absurdity of their thinking.  They probably would be helped by reading this blog.  Or not.  Maybe they are beyond help.

What do you think?  Leave a comment and let us know.

Predictable?

I have joined my wife at Silver Sneakers recently.  It's gotten me thinking about predictability.  See, the routines they use in Silver Sneakers have predictable components such as:

• left foot out, right hand back
• right foot out, left hand back
• pulse a movement 8 times fast at the end of a routine
• and so forth

This predictable quality permits us to learn a bit more rapidly what we should be doing together.  The movements don't just stretch our muscles and help us pump air into our lungs.  The movements stretch our brains as we learn various combinations that are somewhat difficult.  

But if we did only the same old, same old every day we would soon be bored -- "bored our of our gourd" as the old saying goes.  The leader introduces different routines.  Maybe it is as simple as left foot out, right hand to the side.  

We need stuff that is predictable.  We also need the unusual, the unexpected, or the surprising as well.  Let me use one more example.

We were recently in Bermuda, a part of the British commonwealth.  For me, an American, one of the big surprises was the way they drove on the left side of the road.  Steering wheels were on the right side of the vehicle.  The first day I was sure I  could never get used to that.  The second day was almost as bad.  But by the third day I was anticipating their "left turn" which was a "right turn" and beginning to get the feel for this unpredictable predictability.  I didn't drive there, but by the end of the week I believed I could.  It was exhilarating.

How do you respond to predictable things in your life?  How do you respond to the unexpected?  Leave a comment and let us know.