Years ago I learned that "feelings are facts". Yeah, I am quoting my teacher/coach/facilitator. He was correct, of course. Too many of us were ignoring the feelings we had/have and pretending they weren't influencing us or others. Feelings exist, they have tremendous power, and they are addictive.
Feelings give life zest, make imagination soar, help us rise above circumstances that might inhibit our acting in useful ways. On the other hand, feelings crush us with despair, cause us to inject stuff into our bodies that destroy us, motivate us to eat poorly, or to fail to eat at all. Feelings can move us to decide we are hopeless, we cannot succeed, or life is better when we are "out of control".
Feelings are facts. Even putting it that way tells me something important. Facts are important to . . . thinking. I am convinced that thinking should dominate our being while not excluding feeling and feelings.
A teenager feels and feels and feels. She feels she is right about nearly everything so she dresses slightly even though the weather is awful and she will be playing baseball outside. She confesses a year or so later that she has never been so cold in her life. The next day she dresses just as lightly. Thinking has been fueled by feeling, dominated by feelings of "I dress like this and I want to" and thinking strategically has been shelved. She gets payoffs.
A thinking human person would balance the payoff of "dressing how I want to" with "OMG -- I am so cold" and "I can't move fast enough to be a good player because I a so cold." The thinking human person would balance probable payoffs and choose the behavior that gets the most desired payoffs.
Oh. That's thinking ahead, something a person dominated by feelings generally hates to do. (Notice the feeling verb in the previous sentence.)
My musing, my thinking, my concluding is that feelings are facts, but we humans need to harness them to the brain and think our way to desired payoffs. Think ahead. Develop habits that give priority to thinking without dissing feelings.
What do you think? Leave a comment and let us know.
Al Lustie
Thinking with Al
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Deciding, Decisive, Decided
When in doubt, decide. I learned that many years ago, and generally these are words to live by. Decide. Brian Tracy wrote, “Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women. Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.”
Having agreed with this sentiment, I want to add some [decisive] thoughts.
One. Don't be afraid to modify or change your decision when new information demonstrates a change would be useful. If you have decided, for instance, to purchase the "on sale" computer at your local store, and they that store puts a newer, more powerful model on sale for about the same price -- modify your decision after appropriate data gathering. Having decided does not mean decided forever.
That raises the issue of deciding. If, on the one hand, you wait until you have all the information possible you will never decide. If, on the other hand, you decide without any information gathering, too many of your decisions will be stupid. You will look stupid. You will seem stubbornly stupid.
Avoid stupid.
Talk with people. Do your research, think, compare and contrast. Project possible outcomes and talk them out with one or two knowledgable people you trust.
Then decide.
What do you think? Leave a comment and let us know.
Having agreed with this sentiment, I want to add some [decisive] thoughts.
One. Don't be afraid to modify or change your decision when new information demonstrates a change would be useful. If you have decided, for instance, to purchase the "on sale" computer at your local store, and they that store puts a newer, more powerful model on sale for about the same price -- modify your decision after appropriate data gathering. Having decided does not mean decided forever.
That raises the issue of deciding. If, on the one hand, you wait until you have all the information possible you will never decide. If, on the other hand, you decide without any information gathering, too many of your decisions will be stupid. You will look stupid. You will seem stubbornly stupid.
Avoid stupid.
Talk with people. Do your research, think, compare and contrast. Project possible outcomes and talk them out with one or two knowledgable people you trust.
Then decide.
What do you think? Leave a comment and let us know.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
The Saga of Service That Sucks
My bills kept getting higher and higher and higher with Xfinity. If that wasn't bad enough, they kept charging me late payment fees even though I had auto-pay, and their charges showed up on my credit card bill. I went in to the local office and "got the problems fixed" except they were not fixed. The last time I tried the guy behind the counter said, "I don't have to talk to a guy who doesn't pay his bills."
My credit rating, which has been nearly perfect, was impacted.
I tried the phone. One lady was sympathetic. But, she said, large corporations are like this. She says she has the same problems.
Another lady in Chat said, "Oh, I see that the system has dropped the expiration date of your credit card. That's been the problem." She said she fixed it. Meanwhile I was paying penalty fees.
I reduced the plans I had with Xfinity and switched to Home Connect from Verizon. Comcast dropped my number FAST, although nothing else was fast. That made it seem like someone was out to get me. Maybe so, Maybe not. Nasty, nonetheless.
Comcast services have been great. Comcast service sucks.
When I read Seth Godin's blog this morning, I saw how Comcast/Xfinity can do better. Here it is, with a link to his page:
"Sometimes you don't need a budget
Most of the time, people don't want a refund or a bonus. What they really want is for you to hear them and to do the right thing. What if every manager and every customer contact in your organization bought into that?
Here are some things you can do that don't cost any money (but they certainly require effort):
Treat your employees with care and respect
Be consistent in your actions
Keep your promises
Grant others their dignity
Give credit
Take responsibility
When wrong, offer a heartfelt apology
Don't be a jerk
Take the time to actually listen to people
Volunteer to handle the issue
Care "
Link to his blog: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2014/03/sometimes-you-dont-need-a-budget.html
My credit rating, which has been nearly perfect, was impacted.
I tried the phone. One lady was sympathetic. But, she said, large corporations are like this. She says she has the same problems.
Another lady in Chat said, "Oh, I see that the system has dropped the expiration date of your credit card. That's been the problem." She said she fixed it. Meanwhile I was paying penalty fees.
I reduced the plans I had with Xfinity and switched to Home Connect from Verizon. Comcast dropped my number FAST, although nothing else was fast. That made it seem like someone was out to get me. Maybe so, Maybe not. Nasty, nonetheless.
Comcast services have been great. Comcast service sucks.
When I read Seth Godin's blog this morning, I saw how Comcast/Xfinity can do better. Here it is, with a link to his page:
"Sometimes you don't need a budget
Most of the time, people don't want a refund or a bonus. What they really want is for you to hear them and to do the right thing. What if every manager and every customer contact in your organization bought into that?
Here are some things you can do that don't cost any money (but they certainly require effort):
Treat your employees with care and respect
Be consistent in your actions
Keep your promises
Grant others their dignity
Give credit
Take responsibility
When wrong, offer a heartfelt apology
Don't be a jerk
Take the time to actually listen to people
Volunteer to handle the issue
Care "
Link to his blog: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2014/03/sometimes-you-dont-need-a-budget.html
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Broken, Mended, Valued
At least one speaker believes that all we adults are broken. Broken people often hurt, are often angry, hurt, or sad, or helpless. Broken people resist bullies and invite bullying. Broken people invent medicines that heal people and foster illness in themselves and in others. Broken people lead others to wholeness and hope. Broken people lead others into slavery and early deaths. (Recent examples of the latter include Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush.)
In parts of the Japanese culture, pottery is broken, mended and valued. Wikipedia describes it thus: "Kintsugi (金継ぎ?) (Japanese: golden joinery) or Kintsukuroi (金繕い?) (Japanese: golden repair) is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with a lacquer resin sprinkled with powdered gold.[1][2] Kintsugi may have originated when shogun Ashikaga Yoshimasa sent a damaged Chinese tea bowl back to China for repairs in the late 15th century.
As humans how much more must we learn to value broken and mended people, including ourselves. You are broken, and have embarked on the journey to "being mended". Maybe you have been mended. Christians in particular believe in people-mending. Other faiths do as well.
Hope is not gone because we have been broken. Hope is not missing because we admit to brokenness. Relationships, growth, healing (with scars), and insight do not have to be missing, distorted or ignored just because we are broken. Apply the concept of Kintsugi to your own life and to the lives of those around you.
What do you think? Leave a comment and let us know.
In parts of the Japanese culture, pottery is broken, mended and valued. Wikipedia describes it thus: "Kintsugi (金継ぎ?) (Japanese: golden joinery) or Kintsukuroi (金繕い?) (Japanese: golden repair) is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with a lacquer resin sprinkled with powdered gold.[1][2] Kintsugi may have originated when shogun Ashikaga Yoshimasa sent a damaged Chinese tea bowl back to China for repairs in the late 15th century.
As humans how much more must we learn to value broken and mended people, including ourselves. You are broken, and have embarked on the journey to "being mended". Maybe you have been mended. Christians in particular believe in people-mending. Other faiths do as well.
Hope is not gone because we have been broken. Hope is not missing because we admit to brokenness. Relationships, growth, healing (with scars), and insight do not have to be missing, distorted or ignored just because we are broken. Apply the concept of Kintsugi to your own life and to the lives of those around you.
What do you think? Leave a comment and let us know.
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