Getting Scammed, Conned and/or Ripped Off

It is not much fun.

A lot of my clients have experienced it this past fall and early winter.  They do not enjoy it.

It costs money they either don't have, or would prefer to use in other ways.

How can YOU get scammed, conned or ripped off?

1.  You get a phone call.  The called tells you that your computer is in trouble and she or he can fix it.  The fee well might be $399.00 or thereabouts.  Just download the program they tell you to and they will take control of your computer and "fix it".  All you have to do is agree.  But if you don't want to get conned, scammed or ripped off, hang up and unplug your computer for awhile.  If things don't work right, call your tech, or take it to a shop like Best Buy or MicroCenter and get it "cleaned up" by real, honest and competent techs.  And the end of this article I'l give you a massive tip.

2.  You get a message on your screen informing you that something (Windows, Word, some other program) is corrupt.  Call this phone number and pay a fee and they will uncorrupt your computer or unencrypt your files and all will be well.
  For this one turn your computer OFF, even unplug it or take the battery out of it if it is a laptop, and get help as mentioned in 1. above from a competent, honest tech.

3.  You get a phone call from someone who is either from Microsoft or from a firm who contracts with Microsoft.  Microsoft has detected a problem with your computer.  Their fee is _______.  They will clean the problem off your computer.
     (We are Mac users and we get these phone calls, sometimes two or three a week.)

Remember:  Microsoft doesn't know what is going on with your computer and they don't hire firms to do their work for them.  

     Again, press the Power button on your Windows computer/laptop and turn it off.

Do NOT every let anyone have access to your computer via the Internet and phone.  I would say, "especially strangers" but one of my clients got these phone calls so many times he began to think he knew the person.  Yes, he gave access and we had to wipe everything out and reinstall Windows.

If you get such a call or message on your computer, report it to your local police or sheriff''s office.  Maybe if law enforcement begins to realize how much scamming is going on they will try to nab these folks and put them on a chain gang, maybe cleaning the bottom of filled pools.

They target the elderly especially.

A MASSIVE TIP in Three Parts:
1.  make sure you have a good antivirus and that it is up to date.
2.  Install the professional version of Malwarebytes Anti-Malware and let it run in the background.
3.  Have an external hard drive and back up your data at least once a week.  And be sure you made or make DVDs of your Windows program so it is easy to install.  Be sure you have the Activation Code.

A Financial Tip:  Windows computers are cheap.  Don't pay too much to have it fixed.  It may be cheaper to buy a new one and restore your data from your backup disk.

Strange Religion

The right wing conservatives, mostly allied with fundamentalist Christianity, have been shrieking that we cannot let Syrian refugees in to this country.  Their reason:  a terrorist might slink in with them, and then kill some of us.

A number of Democrats have joined with them.

As I mull this over, and listen to right-oriented preachers agree with them, I want to explore and idea from a Christian point of view.  (For this reason this blog article will be on the Faith Reflections blog as well.)

First, Jesus was clear:  love your enemies, do good to those who despitefully use you, feed the hungry, visit the sick, make people welcome in practical ways.  The church has been much less clear, especially after the third century.

Second, Christians assert they will live resurrection lives after death.  They assert that this living will be without tears, without illness or death -- it will be wonder-full, and eternal.

Oh, yes, third:  Jesus said if we would follow him we have to carry our cross to do so.  That doesn't mean no drinking and no smoking and no drugging.  It means living with the instrument of shameful death on your back, ready to experience it as Jesus did/does.

Dare we wonder if these evangelical, or fundamentalist, Christian shouters actually every intend to do what Jesus said?

Dare we wonder whether these folks actually believe in a wonder filled life beyond death?

Dare we wonder whether carrying the cross goes beyond giving up meat for Lent, or wearing a necktie to worship?
  Along that line, think about this:  carrying the cross, as the Romans defined it for Jesus, meant being ready to die, but not knowing just when the moment of death would occur.  It means living with shame and accepting it as something O.K.  In other words, it means living in the U.S.A. with the possibility that someone we help may turn on us and kill or wound us and helping people anyway.

I'm not encouraging us to be foolinsh, or martyrs looking for a place to happen.  Jesus never said, "Be stupid and follow me."  But the shrill tones of fear from people espousing Christian values are as out of place as terrorism in the name of Islam.  Neither fit.

I am old, and if I die, I am reasonably ready.  I don't want my kids or grandkids caught in a bombing or strafing act of terrorism and hurt or killed.  But as a follower of Jesus I have to think clearly and decide whether I really  believe.  If I do, I must act on it every day.

In the Orthodox tradition the priest says, on Easter, "Christ is risen!"  and the congregation responds with vigor:  "He is risen indeed."

But does anyone really believe it?

Why Do I Find Stupidity Amazing?

I have people in my life who try to deny aging.  Yet they are getting older.

I enjoy friends who have little or no savings for retirement.  Yet they persist in spending on transient stuff they don’t need. 

I am blest with acquaintances who drink to their detriment but deem it their right.  

I have managed employees who came late, ate breakfast after the work day began on “company time” and who wondered that their annual evaluations were never “exceeds expectations”.  

I know all the above, and yet I continue to be amazed at human stupidity.  

My question is:  why?  What is there in me that keeps expecting fellow humans to use basic good sense?  

Maybe I am starting to face my own stupidity.  What do you think? 

Fanaticism

When John Boehner resigned last week, a sizable number of his party clapped and shouted how they were glad to get rid of him.  Most of them professed Christian faith, or (in my opinion) pseudo-Christian fanaticism.  UGLY!

I got to thinking about fanatics.

• Our far right fanatics.  
• Islamic fanatics.  
• Iranian fanatics.
• ISIS fanatics.
• Jewish fanatics.  
• Hindu fanatics.  
• Communist fanatics.  
• Fanatics who support a team or school.
• North Korean fanatic leaders and generals - fanatics!
• National Rifle Association fanatics. 

To name a few.  

What is the attraction in fanaticism?  What makes fanatic behavior more appealing than reasoned discourse, thoughtfulness, courtesey and useful leadership?

I suggest if feels good to push boundaries.
It feels good to abandon reason.  Thinking is hard.
It feels good to be "against", probably better than being "for".
It feels good to feel like you stand for something.
It feels good to believe you finally have a purpose.
It feels good to exclude people -- those "others" who support a different team or religion or point of view.
It's easy.

It takes hard thinking, difficult deciding, chancy conversations, and time to figure out what is best in this situation.  Then working for what is possible that includes at least some of the best is harder still.
It also feels right to feel like a victim, and most fanatics feel like victims.  Poor them.

It's hard work being a grownup.  Leave fanaticism to high school cheer leaders.  Assume your place in the world of adults -- real adults, not just people over 18 or 21.

Leave a comment if you have any thoughts about fanaticism.

It's Bigger Than We Think

I wince when someone labels himself a "Conservative" or a "Liberal"  Especially when they are a "true conservative" or a "true liberal".  There ain't no such species.  Never was.  Never will be.

For instance, the founders of the Tea Party wear clothing.  Great Gadzooks!  Our forbearers, way, way back, the "TRUE HUMANS" didn't wear clothing.  The liberals among them had not invented loin cloths or jock straps or "over the shoulder boulder holders".  Not only that, but Tea Party members ride in cars, on airplanes and don't smell of horse manure.  A slightly true conservative would be looking back at the horse and buggy days as the "Better Days" when no one stole, when men were men and women were women and gays non-existent.  OK, maybe they do smell of bull manure.

The blind conservatives don't realize how much "progress" they have embraces in order to flaunt their so called brand of purity.

Lest I forget the true liberals, every one of them hearkens back to something, some value, some memory, some good old day, in some way.  There is no true progressive, no true liberal, either.  Not 100%.

In fact, we are all a mixture of looking backwards and looking forward, of nostalgia and hope, of being glad for something in our past (maybe even just being born) and being glad for our iPhone or car or pizza  takeout.  (I remember when there were only the two, first, pizza places in all of the Seattle metro area.  I got my pizza from one of them.)

Looking for purity in people is like looking for purity in an active volcano.  Everything is pretty much mixed up, just in different amounts and different ways.

What do you think?  Leave a comment and let us know.

Musings About Perfectionism

I have a family member who wants things and people and relationships and herself to be perfect.  She imposes this demand on most people around her, and [sometimes] on herself.  Most of the time she does not know this about herself.  It may be a corollary to this, but she has no sense of humor.

I'll muse about how humor usually is a way of dealing with foibles, failures and imperfections -- one of these days.

She wants to be the perfect wife, the perfect parent, the perfect teacher, the perfect cook, the perfect housekeeper and the perfect friend.  Possibly you know someone who can actually be that perfect.  I don't.  Yes, I know her.  She is not perfect.  How she copes with being not-perfect would be funny if it were not so sad.  I'm too close to laugh.  I weep for her.

But she wants me to be perfect, and the perfect man does not weep.  In her judgment, I am a failure.  I guess I have been a failure for many years, in her view.  In my view, I'm human.

Life is too complex, and living to complicated, to be always on, always right, always having just the perfect emotion for the situation.  Anyway, get two experts on living in the same room and they will not agree on what the "perfect" and "right" response is to any given situation.  So how can anyone know what would be "perfect"?

Ask her.  Even if her answers differ from month to month, she is convinced she is "right", perfectly right, and any given moment in any given month.  Thus I fail, in her eyes, and she fails often in her eyes.

I find it supremely sad.  I find her a walking sack of misery, and I hurt for her.

Perfectionism is not only a form of mental illness, it's a form of self-hatred.  I don't think I know anyone who deserves to be hated all the time, even by herself or himself.

What do you think?  Leave your comment and share your thoughts with us.

Humans Are Weird

I apologize for being absent for so long.  My torn rotator cuff made sitting at a keyboard very painful, and even using a mouse required my left hand.  Physical therapy is making a difference in a positive way.  I don't want to go backwards. . .

Speaking of which, I continue to ponder the amazing weirdness of human beings.  It looks like there are 18 people who have thrown their hats into the ring, with two more considering running as conservative Republicans.  What amazes me is that outwardly they all look sane.  Inwardly. . .

Out here in the West we are used to conservatives who wish for the days without fences, without oil rigs (unless they found oil on their own land, of course!), no hunting or fishing regulations,  and no gun restrictions on anyone.  They yearn for a time when men were men and women were subservient and pretended to love it!  There is an attraction to "the old days" when you live in homes with indoor plumbing, hot showers, and Internet access.  I recall one of my parishioners recalling the "good old days" and the poverty, backbreaking labor and uncertainty about even having enough to eat.  "The best thing about the good old days," she said, "is that they are GONE!"

She is right, but then  she knew how to think.

Of course we didn't have child molesters in the good old days.  Just fathers, uncles and brothers.  We didn't have crime in the old days.  Just murder, lynching, rustling, land grabs, forced bankruptcies, investment scams ("I've got this piece of waterfront property in Florida I have to sell for a loss...), kidnapping, throat slitting, eye gouging, drunkenness, racism, bullying (of the Irish, the Italians, the Swedes, the Chinese, etc.) and functionally legal prostitution.  (Can you spell "Gentlemen's Clubs?)

Ah, yes. We wish for the Good Old Days.

Infectious diseases before vaccinations, amputation of limbs now saved with antibiotics, epidemics like influenza, measles and whooping cough, mass illiteracy, and Tammany Hall politics must have been wonderful, right?

Muslims who once pioneered in astronomy, medicine, and courtesy are followed by people who yearn for the good old days by cutting their fellow Muslims heads off and stoning women who allowed themselves [?] to be raped.

Humans are weird.  Admittedly we have problems to solve, social problems, mental problems, medical problems.  But looking backward will never lead us to a solution.  For the most part the solutions of yesterday that worked were invented by people who looked for answers, for the future, and not blind adulation of the past.

What do you think?  Leave a comment and let us know.

A Book or Two Worth Your Time - 2

Jonas Jonasson grabbed me with the book "The 100-year Old Man Who Climbed Out A Window and Disappeared."  Never slow, never fast, but alway with an undercurrent of gut-busting humor, Jonasson wrote a story and both captivates and demands putting it down.  Why put it down?

You put the book down so you don't drop it while you laugh.  The humor catches you off-guard, especially if you are older and lived through some or all the history interwoven in the tale.

It makes me laugh.  It makes me think.  It celebrates a non-judgmental approach to living.  Johnasson makes growing older more fun.

What do you think?  Read it and leave your response(s), please.

A Book or Two Worth Your Time - Sherman Alexie

Many thing stimulate my thinking.  Today I want to mention a book by Sherman Alexie.  The title:  "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian".  Published by Little, Brown.

If you think, if you pray, if you feel, if you are now or ever were teen-aged, and especially if you grew up in a small town or community, this book will probably grab you.  Alexie writes clearly, entertainingly, and keeps the story moving.  I cannot imagine anyone getting bored or tired of reading at any point.
  At the back is a Discussion Guide, and after that is an interview with Ellen Forney.  Ms. Forney did the extensive art for the book.  And she did it well, thoughtfully, provocatively.  I can imagine a group of people reading this book and using the resources at the back as well as their own responses to share ideas, talk together and enrich one another.

If you use Amazon.com, try this link:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Sherman+Alexie

Or check your local library.  Read it, and leave a comment with some of your responses to the book.

Thanks.  And Thank You, Sherman Alexie.

Meant to Be

I hear and read the phrase, "meant to be".  f or instance:

• “Our love was meant to be."
• “God spared me from the disaster in which 82 other people died.  It was meant to be.  I have something yet to do in this world."
• “She was meant to be a Christian from before the beginning of time.  She’s so perfect at it!"

Of course, it is normal to feel "special" when something goes right, when we don't die in  the car wreck, when we have a great relationship.  But really:  is anything "meant to be"?

If something was "meant to be", I think human freedom would be negated.  Let me ask it this way:  If a person is born Hungarian, or Swedish, or Zulu, is that person meant be wealthy, or persecuted or ignorant?  In other words, if the country or culture of a person's birth doesn't just happen, but was meant to be, does that mean the person cannot sink below or rise above circumstances by choosing wisely, working fiercely or smoking dope?  (Or sucking up to a crime lord or crooked politician?)

I love to think I'm special to the universe, or to God, or to circumstances.  But I also love to think that my choices matter.  

How about you?  What do you think?  Leave a comment and let us know.

Ambiguity

I find an ambiguity in the words that are put into my mouth in songs, liturgies, patriotic expressions, enlistment oaths and life affirmations.  You know what I am talking about, probably.

In a worship service  you are asked as a congregation to say, “For the sake of God, we will search for the outcasts, including ourselves.”  We probably won’t, actually, but we say the words in order to fit in.

In a song we sing, “”that saved a wretch like me” (Amazing Grace, verse 1).  But we feel pretty smug.  We are pretty wonderful, actually.  Life is good.  We sing because it’s familiar and we want to fit in.

We pledge allegiance to the flag and seldom wonder what there is about a piece of cloth that claims my allegiance,  In fact, the next time we handle a flag we are careless, a corner drags on the ground, and it doesn’t tell us to do anything, really.

We enslist in an organization — lodge, club, military branch of service, whatever, and we are required to repeat an oath of one sort or another.  We do so to “fit in”, but. . . do we really mean it?  I did that when I joined a fraternity.  A year and a half later I realized that I was never, never going to even want to admit I was a member of that organization.  I tried to leave, but was told, “You name is written in ink.  You cannot be a non-member.”  But I don’t even remember the promises I made and don’t care.

We want to fit in, and that’s good, but most of the things we “fit into” require us to either lie or accept the ambiguity of group statements.

What do you think?  Leave a comment and let us know. 

I Never Looked At It That Way Before

As I read from "Stitches" by Anne Lamott recently I got to musing about changing.  I thought of an imaginary friend who might be a blend of all my friends and loved ones and enemies and the strangers all around me.  I thought about this person getting older and being crippled.  He or she is crippled by convictions, by childhood beliefs, by a certain way of thinking.  Being crippled he or she cannot reach forward, cannot find new possibilities, and will not get happy or fulfilled or even hopeful.

I thought about this "friend", who might even be me, and someone saying:  "What's to stop you from letting that crap go and getting on with your life?"

In Terry Goodkind's way of putting it, "Why not focus on a solution and quit the focus on the problem?"

I would add, "Especially since the problem is decades old, and doesn't even exist anymore."

What keeps me, what keeps you, what keeps our friends so attached to the past that we cannot enter a different future?

I wonder about things like this.  Do you?  Leave a comment and let us know.

Ambiguity - 1

 find an ambiguity in the words that are put into my mouth in songs, liturgies, patriotic expressions, enlistment oaths and life affirmations.  You know what I am talking about, probably.

In a worship service  you are asked as a congregation to say, “For the sake of God, we will search for the outcasts, including ourselves.”  We probably won’t, actually, but we say the words in order to fit in.

In a song we sing, “”that saved a wretch like me” (Amazing Grace, verse 1).  But we feel pretty smug.  We are pretty wonderful, actually.  Life is good.  We sing because it’s familiar and we want to fit in.

We pledge allegiance to the flag and seldom wonder what there is about a piece of cloth that claims my allegiance,  In fact, the next time we handle a flag we are careless, a corner drags on the ground, and it doesn’t tell us to do anything, really.

We enslist in an organization — lodge, club, military branch of service, whatever, and we are required to repeat an oath of one sort or another.  We do so to “fit in”, but. . . do we really mean it?  I did that when I joined a fraternity.  A year and a half later I realized that I was never, never going to even want to admit I was a member of that organization.  I tried to leave, but was told, “You name is written in ink.  You cannot be a non-member.”  But I don’t even remember the promises I made and don’t care.

We want to fit in, and that’s good, but most of the things we “fit into” require us to either lie or accept the ambiguity of group statements.

What do you think?  Leave a comment and let us know. 

Radicalitzation

I am writing on January 7, 2015.  A French satirical magazine has been terrorized by gunmen, twelve are dead, and the news commentators are using the phrase “increased radicalization” about militant Muslims in France.

I started thinking:  it’s not just Muslims who are being radicalized.  Right-wing Republicans tried to unseat their now Speaker.  A very conservative Republican from Colorado state was accused of treason by House members who disagreed with him (yesterday, I believe).  Right-wing Jews promote hatred in Israel.  Right-wing Christians picket military funerals.  Some members of the New York City Police force turn their backs on their mayor at funerals.  

Conversation, attempts to reach a place of “agreeing to disagree” and other forms of civilized behavior are waning.  Republicans want to reduce the definition of “full time work” to 27 hours per week because employers don’t want to pay benefits for 30 hour employees.  One congresswoman noted that Texas schools hover over substitute teachers to ensure they don’t work more than 29 hours per week (a clear case of blaming the working stiff for their problems).  

ISIS, the Taliban, the Islamist women-haters in Nigeria, Border Patrol staff who hate Mexicans, ranchers who go "hunting" Mexicans with rifles and dogs and 4-wheel drive vehicles, anti-abortion fanatics, people who fan racial hatred and fears account for just some of the radicalization of the world population.  A few days ago a funeral was begun in a Christian building near Denver, and as it happened the person who died had a same-sex partner.  The pastor of the church was not conducting the service but came in to see pictures of the couple.  He halted the service and demanded they leave.

Radical.  Stupid.  Hate-filled.  

And we ask, "Why doesn't God strike these people dead?"

Could it be that God has more compassion, and is less radical than these fear-filled radicals?

What do you think?  leave a comment and let us know.