I read this headline the other day:
SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) - A Texas couple whose 5-year-old daughter died in a crash involving a driver who was allegedly using Apple's FaceTime video chatting app is suing the tech company...
Weird, huh? It was the driver allegedly using Apple's FaceTime who caused the crash. Not the car. Not the highway. Not Apple. THE DRIVER WHO BEHAVED CARELESSLY!
It got me thinking. What impulses lead people fail to think like grown ups?
I recall a couple who were friends who decided they needed a vacation, so they borrowed against their retirement and their credit cards and took the kids to Disney Land. They were in terrible debt for several years, and would not really have adequate retirement income. I suspect that if they had lived they would have wanted someone else to help them live comfortably in retirement instead of living responsibly themselves.
Not everyone can take full responsibility. Mental issues, physical issues, imprisonment and such-like can contribute to less-than-grownup attitudes and thinking. I understand that.
But the goal of childhood is, and has always been, growing up. Michelle Obama made a point about how she handled the crud that came with being the president's wife by saying she decided to be a grownup. I had a friend many years ago whose constant mantra after years of abuse as a child was: "I want to be grown up. I want to live as a grown up. Good mental health for me is being grown-up."
Being grown up means being responsible for ALL that I am responsible for, and for assigning responsibility thoughtfully and carefully to others. The governmnet is not responsible for my well-being, but for governing in a fair, impartial way to ensure that we can all take responsibility for ourselves. (In other words, so that whites don't get privileges that people of color are denied, for instance.)
Big corporations are responsible for the safety and non-toxic nature of what they sell, but the USER of the product is responsible for whe she or he does when using it.
I like to work with wood. My table saw is not responsible for my carelessness in cutting my fingers off. It's a dangerous tool and I know it.
If, however, I am using a saw blade that has flaws in built into it by the maker of the blade, and I end up hurt or dead because of the flaws, then the manufacturer is responsible. I could not have known, and had a reasonable right to expect the blade to be well made. Right?
On the other hand, I am responsible for using the saw carefully. I cannot blame my employer for giving me the weekend off so I had time to use it. That would be silly, juvenile and stupid.
What do you understand about being a grownup? Leave a comment and let us know.
